Obama Bans April Fools' Day - 04/01/11
White House press secretary Art Carney informed a stunned Washington press corps yesterday that President Barack Obama issued an executive order banning all April Fools' Day pranks starting on this date.
The controversial order was also discussed by a panel on the Hannity program on Fox News last night, including Arianna Huffington, who stated this proves that Obama is a decisive and serious leader. Huffington, an ardent Obama supporter, said, "The president doesn't kid around."
In a telephone interview with Washington Correspondent Darth Wilson, a presidential policy adviser said that the Obama administration's action was made necessary by the tea party and birther movements which "have made April Fools' Day a year-round event."
The official, who asked to remain anonymous, added that Muammar Gaddafi was also part of the problem and that the executive order banning April Fools' and the timing of the airstrikes and missile attacks against Libyan military installations was "not a coincidence."
"Let's just say it's no joke," the official told reporter Wilson, but declined further comment, and denied that he existed.
But Tulane University professor Dr. Ferd Stone, an authority on April Fools' Day, doubts that the president's ban is constitutional and will survive a First Amendment challenge. "I'm certain," he told a group of law students, "that the U.S. Supreme Court will declare April Fools' jokers 'people' with the same rights and standing as corporations, which are always pulling pranks on us."
Meanwhile, a group of self-described "pranksters" announced late yesterday that they are filing a lawsuit in federal court challenging the April Fools' Day ban. This morning the group issued a press release stating "Just kidding."
In related news, Libyan strongman Gaddafi told ABC anchor Christiane Amanpour he also was just kidding when he threatened to kill anyone who opposed his regime. "I'm a pretty face," he told Amanpour. "And a big kidder."
Conclusion: In view of the president's order, this website will not be publishing its traditional annual April Fools' article this year.